THE MONDAY FROM HELL

Keely was the last person to arrive at the office Monday
morning and when she walked in, she could feel the tension
in the air.  As she walked back to her office, others looked
up and rolled their eyes or shook their heads, and she knew
what was going on.  Their boss, the alpha-male type was on
one of his tirades.  Five minutes later it was her turn.
Away from the office and feeling helpless, he was calling in
and shouting at his staff, wanting this and that paper or
information he didn't have.

Kelly had a knot in her stomach and her head started to
spin.  Checking back in with her EQ competencies she did
exercises to calm herself and get the static out of her
brain.  She knew it had nothing to do with her, but as the
barrage from the boss' cell phone continued, soon
accompanied by emails from his laptop, others were
cratering, and "it" started to run downhill.

In a small office, things like this are especially
infecting.  Tension can be contagious.  Even if you manage
it well, there will be some affect on you, because you're
human and we're designed to notice and tune in to the
emotions of others around us.

THE BALM OF GILEAD

Keely sat in her office trying to play small while "it" flew
around the office.  Colby, the office manager appeared at
her door with a big smile on his face, turned the corner and
took the chair across from her desk.

"How was your weekend?' he asked in a normal tone of voice,
just as if nothing untoward were going on.  "Did you get up
to your brother's?"

Keely recognized it for what it was, and gladly took the
opportunity to relax into a normal conversation.  Colby's
reassuring demeanor and calm, matter-of-fact slash kind tone
of voice were like a balm to her nerves frazzled by proxy.

As she related the details of her weekend visit with family,
Keely was soon feeling quite normal again, realizing that
everything was fine despite the boss' tantrums.

Colby left after a couple of minutes, walking in a loose,
relaxed manner, head held high, smile on his face, and she
heard him enter the office next to hers, asking, "How was
your weekend?" to her colleague.

Keely then got up and went out to the coffee room feeling
much better, and spread her own contagious smile and relaxed
demeanor.  After a few minutes she and Shelly were even
laughing.

DIS-INFECTING

A good part of the manager's job is to manage the emotions
in the office; to notice negative emotions and stop their
spread.  A manager with high EQ (emotional intelligence)
understands her own emotions and those of others, and the
effect they can have on a group.  She or he pays attention
to the office's emotional temperature just as much as to the
work flow, deadlines, assignments, and productivity.  Why?
Because it's the emotions that drive the productivity.  An
office that's full of tension and fear is an office in a
downward spiral, heading toward dysfunction.

 Even if the current 'problem' is handled, there will be an
aftermath.  High tension, fear and anger drain us after they
disappear and the effects can be long-lasting.  People who
work under constant tension burn out, stay home, engage in
"presenteeism" (coming to work but getting little done),
make more mistakes, and treat each other with disrespect
because they're focused on their own emotional management
and have little left over for
anyone else.  They also fall into the CYA mode, where they
withhold information from fear, and avoid certain people
from dislike.  Who likes a raging tyrant?  Say what you
will, you will avoid this person, will withhold information,
will become inauthentic, and will function below capacity.

If you're the manager, learn to be "the eye of the storm," a
center moving through whatever's going on who represents
normality, personal power and resourcefulness.  Practice
good EQ.  It will free people to rediscover their own
motivation, and affect the bottom line as much as anything
else in your bag of tricks.

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach,
http://www.susandunn.cc .
Individual coaching for professionals, executives, and
individuals, business programs, Internet courses,
teleclasses, and ebooks on Emotional Intelligence.  Improve
your EQ, improve your life!  Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for
FREE ezine.  Put "ezine" for subject line.